The Castle on the Hill
by Twinsfan725
Summary: A brief insight into what Louisa is thinking while she and James are away in Spain and, most importantly, her reasons for returning to Portwenn. Takes place during the gap between Series 6 Episode 8 and Series 7 Episode 1.
1. Chapter 1

**I was slightly inspired by the song Castle on the Hill by Ed Sheeran. So I wanted to get this short story out there before I lost the idea and the motivation to write it. At the start of Series 7 we never know/see exactly what happened in Spain from Louisa's perspective and thought it would be fun to write my own version. I hope you enjoy it!**

Chapter One

It was a week ago that Martin performed the operation that saved his wife's life. Now, as he stood in their bedroom, her bags were packed and ready to go. Like he did during her first attempt to leave, he moved across the landing to the nursery and James's cot. He peered down at his son, seeing that he was wide awake. When Martin reached down to touch his forehead, James latched on to his father's index finger and gurgled. Martin smiled slightly, but feeling melancholy all the same, as he wasn't sure when James and Louisa planned to be back - or if they would be returning at all.

"Are you sure you don't mind driving us to the airport?" Louisa asked, appearing in the doorway of the nursery.

Martin looked away from James towards Louisa. Her left arm was still in a sling, and the cut on her cheek was now a mere bruise. The bandage on her neck from her operation had been removed when she was discharged from hospital. "No," was all he said.

"Okay." She glanced down at her silver wrist watch. "Well, we should leave in a few minutes. The flight's at two."

"Yes. I'll just, um, put your bags in the car."

"Thank you, Martin." Louisa watched as he swiftly left the room. She looked down at the floor for a moment. This was the hardest decision she felt she ever had to make - taking James and heading to Spain without Martin. But it was the only thing she could think of to help save their marriage. They needed a break from each other, at least she did.

"The car's ready," Martin said when he returned.

Louisa turned around, broken from her thoughts. "Thank you. Can you get James?"

"Yes." Martin stepped back into the room and moved towards James's cot. He picked up his son, who wrapped a small arm around Martin's neck. "Are you sure you have everything?" he asked her.

"Yes. I double checked this time."

"Mm." He looked away from her then led the way down the stairs.

The drive to the airport was in an uncomfortable silence. Neither Louisa nor Martin knew what to say. Martin kept glancing in the rear-view mirror at James. He had his foot pulled towards his body, and his fingers grappled to take hold of his sock. It was going to be very quiet - and lonely - without Louisa and James around. Since his time when he lived alone, he had adjusted fairly well with his wife and son under the same roof, but now that they were leaving, he wasn't looking forward to the silence at all.

They arrived at the airport on schedule and as Martin was buckling James into his pushchair, Louisa kept her eyes downcast. She didn't know how she was going to handle having to say goodbye to him.

"Um, do you have your boarding pass?" he asked, standing up straight again.

"Yes, Martin. It's in my carry-on."

"Right. Can I walk with you to the gate? Um, to - you know, relieve some of the exertion on your shoulder."

Louisa furrowed her brow. "Is that allowed?"

Martin shook his head. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

She smiled slightly. "Okay. That would be nice, Martin. Thank you."

After a brief argument with the woman at the check-in desk and some persuasive medical jargon, Martin was able to accompany Louisa and James through security and to their intended gate.

When the call that passengers were ready to be boarded came, Martin stood up with James in his arms. Louisa had a bit of difficulty getting to her feet because of the sling, so Martin helped her up with his free hand.

"Well, that's us, then," she said, trying to break the silence between them.

"Yes." Martin glanced at James. His head was turned away, as he was fascinated by the people walking by. "Goodbye, James." His son turned at the sound of his voice, and the boy gave him a smile. "I'll miss you, but you and Mummy are going to have a wonderful time in Spain."

As Martin spoke to James, Louisa watched him. It made her heart swell to see these tender moments between her husband and son. But it also broke her heart to see him saying goodbye to James. The two had a special bond, whether Martin was aware of it or not, and to see him looking so sombre, it was almost her undoing. But then he handed over James and she carefully took him with her good arm.

"I'll call you when we land," she said, adjusting the strap of her carry-on.

"Yes." Martin stepped closer and brushed his hand over the crown of James's head. It was an awkward goodbye. I mean, were they supposed to embrace? Shake hands? Wrapping his left arm around her and James, Martin bent his head so it rested against Louisa's. "I'm going to miss you, you know," he whispered.

Louisa closed her eyes. She couldn't bear to look at him. "I know." Lifting her head, she opened her eyes, feeling the tears threatening to fall. "I wish I didn't have to leave." He was silent and unmoving as he listened to her. Shaking her head, she continued, "I don't know what else to do, Martin. You've been pushing me away. You won't talk to me about what's troubling you, and I just can't do it anymore."

Martin swallowed hard. "I know. I'm sorry."

"I just think that some time apart will help."

He nodded. "How long will you be gone?"

Louisa shook her head. "I don't know. I just need the space to think."

Martin grunted and looked down at his shoes. He could feel his eyes start to water. She didn't assure him that she'd return, and that's what hurt the most. He cleared his throat and glanced back up to meet her eyes. "Mm, you should go before you miss your flight."

"Yes, I know. But can you do one thing for me?"

"Yes."

"Will you kiss me goodbye? Give us a proper sendoff?"

The corners of his mouth tugged slightly. He looked around furtively at the other waiting passengers. He disliked public displays of affection, but he wasn't sure of the next time he would see his wife and son. So, pushing his inhibitions aside for a moment, Martin leaned down and kissed her gently. Pulling away, he brushed his hand over James's head and stepped back. "Um, remember your Warfarin pills. And make sure to stay hydrated during the flight."

"Yes, I will."

"Mm." He couldn't bear to say goodbye to her.

An attendant came over, giving them the last call. "Ma'am, Sir, this is the final call to board."

"Yes, thank you," Louisa answered her, trying her best to be polite. She faced Martin one last time. "Bye, Martin," she said with a little wave, then turned towards the jetway.

Martin held his hand up as she turned to go then let it drop at his side. He stood still as he watched her make her way slowly towards the jetway. James turned his head around to face Martin with a perplexed expression. His fingers were in his mouth and Martin held his hand up once more to wave to James. When his wife and son disappeared down the corridor, he turned on his heel and made his way back to the heart of the airport.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Village of Cortegana, Huelva, Spain

The weather in Cortegana was lovely during the early summer months. Sun, heat, a small little village; it almost reminded Louisa of Portwenn. Located in the southwestern part of the country near Portugal, with traditional Spanish, white stucco homes, the village of Cortegana was peaceful and alive with the inhabitants that lived there. The castle, Castillo de Cortegana, which was situated on a hill overlooking the village, could be seen for miles. It was a popular tourist attraction, and in the first few days after arriving, Louisa and James ventured up the hill to see it for themselves.

After being in the village for a week, Louisa could feel the loneliness start to creep up on her. Though she and James were staying with her mother, the absence of Martin seemed to weigh on her. When they had landed at the airport in Malága, her mother was waiting to collect them. Her conversation that day with Martin at the airport was all too brief. She had assured him that the flight went smoothly, no headaches or pain of any kind. Though she did mention how the journey was stressful for James. Martin had been quiet, his voice unusually soft and gentle over the phone, only giving monosyllabic answers in reply.

Sitting out on the balcony of her mother's small house, the memory of her conversation with Martin at the airport was never far from her thoughts. The wistfulness in his voice caused her heart to ache. She hated to see him, or rather hear him, so dejected.

"This little one has too much energy, Lou-Lou."

Louisa turned around to face her mother, who was holding James in her arms. "You didn't give him any of your homeopathic remedies, did you?"

"No, course not! I've learned my lesson."

James held his arms out for his mother and Louisa graciously planted him in her lap. "He's just getting older, no longer a baby. He's bound to have more energy." She leaned down and kissed his head.

Eleanor came around the small wrought iron table and sat down beside her daughter. "What's got you in such a morose mood this afternoon, hmm?"

Louisa shook her head. "Nothing really."

Eleanor nudged her daughter's elbow. "C'mon, Lou-Lou, I know when you're lying. It's that man of yours, isn't it?"

Louisa sighed. She really wasn't in the mood to talk about her failing marriage with her mother. "I just don't want to talk about it, Mum."

"I knew he was never going to make you happy, Lou-Lou. I could see it from the moment I met him. A hot-shot London surgeon living in the English countryside. No respect whatsoever for those less intelligent than himself. And the way he treats you . . ."

Louisa turned a fierce glare towards her mother. "Mum? Enough, would you?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but that's the truth. Just look at what happened with me and your dad."

Louisa sighed once more. She hadn't thought about her father in a long time. For all she knew he was still in prison. He had no idea his daughter was married and that he was now a grandfather. "Mum, please?" She gave her mother a pleading look. "I came here to get away, not rehash the past." She looked away towards the castle on the hill. The memory of a different castle on a northern Cornish coast came to mind instead. It had been a worrisome afternoon as they hunted for Mrs. Tishell and James. The only relief she felt that day was having James back in her arms and hearing Martin say those three little words she longed to hear. It was the day when she decided that she really did want to spend the rest of her life with him. He had finally said _I love you_ , and she believed he meant it.

Now, not even a year of marriage between them, and already she was contemplating on whether or not to leave him. She could feel the moisture gathering in her eyes, and when she blinked because of the blinding sun, a few tears slowly made their way down her cheeks.

Eleanor noticed the tears on her daughter's face. "Oh, my poor girl," she said, resting her hand on Louisa's arm.

Louisa turned to face her mother. "I miss him, Mum. I really do."

"Oh, my little girl, come here." Eleanor opened her arms and Louisa willingly leaned over and embraced her mother. "It'll be alright, Lou-Lou, you'll see."

"I just don't know why things have to be so difficult between me and Martin," Louisa said through gasping breaths. "I try to understand him, and part of me does, it's just not how I imagined us to be."

"Then how did you imagine it to be?"

"It was when I agreed to marry him the first time he proposed to me. I had decided to stop seeing him the previous day because of his rudeness towards me. But when he told me that he couldn't bear to be without me, it just . . . I don't know. I thought, now that we were engaged we could be a real couple - a normal couple. But then cancelling the wedding and my unplanned pregnancy made everything between us more complicated."

"And you wrote to me when you were expecting."

Louisa nodded. "I assumed Martin wouldn't want a child and was terrified of how I was going to cope on my own. But seeing him when he dropped us off at the airport . . ." She inhaled a shaky breath and wiped at her wet cheeks. "He looked so sad to see us leaving. And he's very patient with James - gentle and caring." Louisa glanced down at her son, noticing that his delicate skin was starting to burn from the sun. She'd have to remember to put on more sun block. "If he just put a little more effort into our relationship . . ."

"Have you talked with him since arriving at the airport?"

Louisa shook her head. "Maybe I should. It would be nice to hear his voice again."

Eleanor reached over and wiped away the rest of her daughter's tears. She didn't understand her daughter's fondness for a man who was so rude and abrasive. But Eleanor only cried over one man in her life - Javier, the man she ran away with years ago, who was now dead. Placing a hand on Louisa's back she said, "So are you going to return to Portwenn?"

Louisa turned back to her mother. "I don't know. I want to. I just don't have that feeling yet that's urging me to go back. As much as I miss Martin, I still think a little more time apart would be beneficial."

"But you need to call him, sweetheart. If you love him, and I know you do, then for heaven's sake, Lou-Lou, talk to your husband. I don't want you to end up like me and your father." With a pat on her daughter's hand, Eleanor stood up and headed back into the house, out of the sweltering sun.

Louisa brushed her fingers over James' head of light hair. "Oh, James, what am I going to do about your daddy?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The following week, Louisa was just returning from her walk with James and settling him down for a nap, when checking her mobile, she noticed a voicemail from Martin.

 _"Um, Louisa, I was just wondering if you'd had any further thoughts on when you're returning to Portwenn."_ Pause. _"Um, I hope you and James are well."_ Another pause. _"Um, this is Martin Ellingham . . . obviously."_ Then the message was over.

After tapping on the phone icon, she held her thumb over Martin's name in her contacts list, contemplating whether to call him back. His voice was soft in his message, almost longing. Oh, Martin, she thought. Why couldn't he just fight for her? All she wanted was to hear him say how much he needed her - wanted her back. But his impassive nature always seemed to get the better of him.

Switching off her mobile, she placed the device down on the kitchen table. What she needed was a glass of wine; maybe some Tempranillo. Her mother usually kept a few bottles of red wine stocked somewhere.

"Maybe you could help me down at the restaurant?" her mother suggested when she came across her daughter opening and closing cupboards and cabinets.

Louisa turned to face her mother. "I don't know if I'm feeling up to it, Mum."

"Lou-Lou, you need to keep busy. It won't do you any good to sit around and brood over that man of yours."

Louisa finally located a bottle of wine and dug around in a drawer for a corkscrew. "I'm not brooding, Mum. I'm thinking; about the state of my marriage - my future."

Eleanor moved to stand beside her daughter, who was struggling to open the bottle of wine. "And this won't fix anything either." She took hold of the bottle.

"I just fancy a glass."

"But, Lou-Lou you need to make a decision soon. You can't keep running off with your little boy every time you and Martin have a disagreement."

Louisa grabbed a wine glass from an overhead cupboard and plunked it down on the countertop with unnecessary force. "I know, Mum!"

Eleanor stepped back at her daughter's outburst. "Okay. I'll let you be. I'm just heading out. You know where to find me."

Louisa nodded, focusing her attention on pouring her glass of wine. When her mother finally left for the afternoon, Louisa sat down by the collapsible cot where James was sleeping in her bedroom. Her little boy looked so peaceful and content curled up under his blanket with his toy purple dinosaur clutched in one hand. Of all the things she disagreed on with her mother, she was right when she said that Louisa couldn't keep running away with James when things with Martin were tough. She made a lifelong commitment to him, and having James strengthened that bond.

"Oh, James," Louisa said softly to her son. "I do love your daddy - very much. He just, I don't know, makes me so angry sometimes. He doesn't quite fit in with the crowd of Portwenn, does he? I know he longs to be in London again, but he chose to stay in Portwenn because of you and me. I thought we could finally settle our differences once we were married, but everything's just a mess." She shook her head and let out a sigh. "Maybe someday, when you're older, James, this'll all just be a story we can retell to show you how stubborn your parents can be." She leaned over and lightly traced the rim of his small ear. "You're the best thing to ever happen to me, James Henry. You, and having the chance to be with your father has given me a purpose in life. And I don't think I'm ready to throw it all away." Pulling his blanket up to his chin, Louisa leaned down into the cot to kiss her son's forehead. "Sleep well, sweetheart," she whispered to him.

Wandering back out to the kitchen with her still full glass of wine, Louisa eyed her mobile phone. She should really call Martin back. I mean, after all, he did contact her. She tapped his name and waited for the connection to go through. The line on the other end rang a few times before it was finally picked up. She heard Martin's voice but it was breaking up.

"Martin? Martin?" she said, but couldn't hear a clear response. Then the call abruptly ended. "Bugger!" she mumbled under her breath. The reception here was rubbish. Maybe later she'd try the payphone she saw down by the bus stop. She sent a text message to Martin saying she'd call him from a payphone at 4:30 UK time.

Stepping out on the balcony, her gaze immediately went to the picturesque castle situated on the hill. It was a lovely view, though she did wish she was on the coast. She loved the harbour and its sparkling blue water in the summer. And when it stormed, the crash of the waves against the rocky cliffs was soothing to her ears. She missed home - Portwenn. She missed the school and the kids; her friends and the village shopkeepers she came to know so well. She even missed Martin's Aunt Ruth. Though she could be a bit critical and frank at times, she was very resourceful and full of knowledge.

Taking a sip from her glass of wine, she thought of their home on Roscarrock Hill - their own little castle on the hill, so to speak. She thought she was making the right decision when she had decided to move in with Martin after James was born. Then his decision to move back to London changed all that. But it took Mrs. Tishell having a psychotic break to get Martin to realise how important she and James were to him.

. . .

At 5:30 down at the payphone, Louisa dialed Martin's mobile number. It rang continuously until the greeting came on, signaling her to leave a message. She placed the phone back in its cradle. Why didn't he pick up? she wondered. She messaged him earlier saying she was going to call. Was he too busy? Did he not want to talk to her anymore? Oh, why must communication be so difficult between them?! Letting out a tired sigh, Louisa turned and started her trek back to the house.

Her mother was in the kitchen when she returned. Louisa could smell the spices of one of her mother's recipes. It smelled divine and she was hungry.

"No luck?" her mother asked, turning away from the cooker.

Louisa shook her head. "I don't understand, Mum. I texted him saying I was going to call but he never picked up."

"Maybe he was busy. You know how doctors can be, Lou-Lou. He was probably just called out on an emergency or something."

Louisa sighed. "Yeah, I suppose so."

Eleanor looked at her daughter in sympathy. She couldn't bear to see her so unhappy and exhausted. "Maybe you're just not meant to be with each other, Lou-Lou."

Louisa looked away from her mother. "I have to feed James his dinner . . ." She excused herself towards her bedroom. James was sitting up in his cot in a sort of makeshift playpen. He was chewing on the ear of a stuffed animal when she reached down to scoop him up. "How's my little boy, hmm?" she cooed, kissing his forehead. James reached out and grabbed at Louisa's ponytail. She shifted him in her arms, preventing him from latching on to her hair. "C'mon, James. Let's see what grandma has for your dinner."

After dinner and when James was bathed and put to bed, Louisa relaxed on the sofa next to her mother. "Mum, did you ever love Dad? Or was your heart always with Javier?" she asked.

Eleanor turned towards her daughter, completely caught off guard by her question. "What? Where did that come from?"

Louisa shrugged. "I don't know. I've just been thinking about Dad recently and I just wondered."

Eleanor sighed. "Lou-Lou, your dad, well, he and I . . . It was sort of a spur of the moment relationship. I suppose I loved him at one point and then you came along and there just wasn't enough money to get by anymore. I hated having to deal with your father's gambling debts and when I met Javier, he took me away from it all." She reached over and took Louisa's hand. "I am sorry, Lou-Lou, for walking out on you - for leaving you."

Louisa took in a deep breath. "I think I can forgive you, but I'll never forget those times when I wished you were still there."

"I'm sorry, Lou-Lou. I really am."

"I know, Mum." Louisa glanced in the direction of her bedroom where James was fast asleep. "I just don't want James to have to go through the same thing that I did. I want to make my marriage with Martin work, but he keeps shutting me out. He doesn't talk to me about his troubles. He keeps everything inside, and I know he wants to express himself, but there's just something that's holding him back."

"Maybe it's _you_ that he needs."

Louisa let out an exasperated breath. "I try to get him to open up with me, but he won't. I just think that James and I are too much of a burden in his life."

Eleanor shook her head. "That's nonsense! Despite his rudeness, I've seen the way he looks at you. Just give him another chance, Lou-Lou."

"I don't know, Mum. I want to go back, but what if we can't fix our problems? Then what?"

"That's marriage, sweetheart. There will always be problems and disagreements. You have to have faith in each other." Eleanor stood up with her empty wine glass. "Do you want another glass?"

Louisa shook her head. "No thanks, Mum. I think I'm gonna sit outside for a bit."

"Suit yourself."

Taking a seat at the little wrought iron table out on the balcony, Louisa was amazed by the beautiful sunset. The dark orange and yellow hues of the sun was the perfect backdrop for the castle on the hill. She remembered standing up there with James. You could see across the whole village, like their cottage on Roscarrock Hill. Except the only things missing was the beautiful harbour, the Cornish accents, and the constant smell of trimethylamine down by the Platt. She missed her home, but most importantly, she missed Martin.

When she married Martin, Louisa didn't expect their marriage to be perfect or idyllic. They had each other and their son, and she was content. But could she really leave Martin behind and live like this? Like her mother said, she had to have faith that they could work things out and be together. James deserved to have both of his parents.

The sun continued its descent below the horizon. The castle was now bathed behind in a deep orange, with the darkness settling in from above. Her thumb and forefinger found her wedding band, and she absently twisted it around her finger. It was time to go home. There was no denying it. Thoughts of Portwenn never left her mind. She was finally feeling that urge to return home - back to her own castle on Roscarrock Hill. And of course, back home to Martin.


End file.
